i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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