thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
