butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
