saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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