i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
