Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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