He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
