We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
