I'm really into asian looking animals
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We had sex on a dog bed..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
