You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
