we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
