My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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