So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
