somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
