she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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