Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
