I wish I could teleport
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
