So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
