he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
