pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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