I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
