Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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