She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
