Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
