I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
