he puts the penis in happiness.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
