did you get engaged???
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
