I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
