Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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