Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
