hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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