if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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