She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
