obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
