i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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