i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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