You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
