brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
