yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
