so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
