return my video game
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
