he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the day after is always just damage control
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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