Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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