I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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