We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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