apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
porn star boner night. come get it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
