I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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