my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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