You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
