Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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