"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
