Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
