Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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